Playing with my thoughts

 

Like the journey to success , or the pursuit of happiness, or the pains of a broken heart , With time, everything made sense, it was all a part of the journey and the endless mysteries of growing up. We all had to leave secondary school because we were done, to move on to the next chapter life had waiting for us , the thoughts of not seeing my friends as much or not having the daily school rituals , sent A cold chill down my spine , I was terrified to move to the next chapter , I was scared I would not stop missing them .

       Life is like an endless ripple of event , things just happen’s even if we are not prepared. The final dinner night was amazing , filled with so much emotions , we cried out our eyes our junio
rs sobbed, clinged around us for as much as they could, we shared gifts told story and imagined what our lives would be like in days to come .

           But just like mist on a cold summer morning, the fear didn’t last , by the end of the month my focus was completely redirected ,all that mattered was to gain admission, it was indeed a tedious and mentally draining period , during the whole post UTME (national exam) process most of us got to see each other again for what feels like one last time. Admission list came out, from first to second to third the VP list and the others, few got in while most didn’t, this separated us further , as we now belonged to different social status , some went ahead and got married. 

     With time it all seemed right and we got to understand that letting go and loosing people is actually part of the whole growth process.

Loosing people or rather the fear of loosing people due to circumstances beyond ones control ,  is really pricking and disturbing, it sometimes feels like you are drowning in a pool of your own tears and no matter how much you cry the fear and pain doesn’t seem to end.

In terms of relationship it’s harder because there was intamacy  you apparently shared your life or at least a part of your life with a person, sometimes we  fear having to start over with another ,tolerate someone else’s, learn to love another  and give another part of ourselves away again.

Reminiscing The conversations , checking up on your phone for messages and missed calls you’re used to getting the disappointment that follows when you no longer get them or even Hearing the songs You both enjoyed could be the straw that breaks the all so fragile heart further.

Craving for a person that won’t even be available

It’s like having an information or idea and not being able to share it or  having a good news and craving the vibe, response and reactions you get when you share them with that person.

They are dimensions to thanatophobia with reasons.

Aside being thanatophobic, social anxiety disorder is a very  common disorder that Involves the fear of meeting new people, being on job interviews, dating.....

This are factors that could hinder our social growth.

Life gives us deals us with varieties of circumstances,ready or not, restricting our abilities due to phobia is not healthy for proper growth. We must see life differently expect more but be ready for less, quit being scared of the after and live in the peace and happiness of the moment.  Keep in mind that what will be will be, recall those times in your life when you felt this was it but somehow the story changed. Most times when we finally face our fears we look back and be like “so I was apparently just restricting my self”. Face reality and live with high expectations but be ready for anything.